I would never suggest that garbage collection or McDonald’s are not fine career paths– after all, each is a productive entity within society– but if you’ve ever walked into a fastfood place or a Best Buy and spotted their ludicrous recruitment posters you might have to laugh. You know. Just a little. The teeniest bit.No? Fine.

Well I’ve walked into enough businesses to ignore the alluring calls for CUSTOMER SERVICE MANIACS and CUSTOMER CONVENIENCE SPECIALISTS in the EXCITING, FAST-PACED WORLD OF RETAIL SALES!! Corporations like Starbucks and Best Buy– by no means small localized operations– give their employees pep talks and propaganda about the success of their ventures and their coming expansions. You might actually be surprised at the veracity of a movie like In Good Company, which was incredibly cheesy but really not so far from the truth if you consider how cornballed this kind of CEO-ass-kissing-buy-our-stock-cuz-it’s-gold talk really is. I have to wonder, why would you bother with this when your primary workforce isn’t even old enough to drink? Consider that. The face of your company is your customer service, and that face has pimples.